❅ Clay Masks and Christmas Plans ❅

 Weirdly enough even though I've been more relaxed these days, I've been breaking out and had nightmares almost every night. I don't know where it comes from. I've thought that I should try giving myself clay masks more often since they are so wonderfull for the skin. I have one in particular that smells and looks like chocolate. Yum! But it is not edible sadly.

Since winter is also arriving quickly, the air is more dry and the cold weather is not really helping either for my skin. Its so harsh I have to be very careful to cover myself when I go out. Logical but sometimes I forget what winter does to my face. Plus, I naturally have dry skin year round so its worse in winter.

Now writing about some of my Christmas projects. I am thinking of doing a Christmas/Winter related photoshoot/gallery with my new camera (Canon T3i Rebel) in my area. I think I could make something beautiful when the snow comes again. I would take pictures that represents some of my feelings about this season and what the Holiday means to me.

Also, I am working currently on a Vision Board that I will hang in my bedroom. I used a very large carton with a black font. I am using images from various magazines to make a collage about my goals and dreams. Some things that will motivate me and make me remember things I want in life.

As for work, I have a few catering contracts coming up. I think as of now, I have about 4-5 contracts in December. Maybe I will have more but for now that is it. Its not a lot of work, but it makes me able to pay for my phone bills and a few things I need here and there.

I'm also thinking about writing short stories on my blog but I haven't had a lot of inspiration to start with. Any ideas? Let me know. I love writing. Its a calming hobby and it eases my mind a lot. I can write about anything. I'm not very good at it, but I am getting better. That's the most important thing. If I work hard and keep practicing, I'll get better and I will be able to write enjoyable texts to read.

I wish you all a good night sleep ♥



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Miakoda ✿

Snowflakes and Butter Biscuits

Yes it started snowing again. What a great way to start the weekend! I woke up facing my window and I saw it, Thousands of little white specks falling down from a gray sky. I smiled. Its not as cold as I thought, but it never is when snowflakes are falling. I will be able to take photographs outside today I'm sure.

I took my breakfast this morning while looking at the frosty window. Nothing more relaxing than a chilly morning accompanied by a hot cup of tea.

Also, I finished my little sewing project. It is not perfect, but bare in mind that it is my first time doing it and I am working to get better at it. Here what it looks like!

It says,"Plant your own garden & Decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers". Just in case you weren't sure of what was written!

I want to hang it above my bed for a decoration project I have in mind. I want to sew five other pieces like this but with different quotes that speaks to me. I just started my second one and I will post a picture of it once it is finished.








Now changing subjects, I dyed my hair black last monday. I thought you would like to see the results so I took a picture. Unfortunately, we can't really see all of my hair on the picture, but it gives you an idea of how it looks:

It is extremely dark. Pitch black, just how I wanted it to be. Sometimes I'll wear an all black outfit and look a bit like Wednesday Adams with short hair! Haha.

Now, enough with hair news. Let's talk about something else.













Butter Biscuits. I love them. They remind me of Christmas. Maybe because I used to make them and use shaping tools to make them look like candy cane or little bears. Then I would take the hot ones that just came out of the oven and eat them with a hot chocolate while looking at my favorite kid's tv show. That were the days. I should make butter biscuits. They put me in one of those moods that everything is allright and you just have to relax. No worries. No stress. Just an evening close to a fireplace and a hot chocolate in hand. Perfect.

 I Love Christmas





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Miakoda ✿

When a Friend Falls

I make things so complicated sometimes. I make my own life lose its simplicity. I'm good at that. My head is full of bullshit about things that are untrue about myself and its killing me. But having someone you care about making it worse...I just can't handle it all the time.

I'm usually the one who forgives everyone all the time. I can't keep grudges. I'm being stepped on, beated verbally, and manipulated because I care too much about them and not enough about me. Its always the other person. But I deserve no pity, because I brought it all to myself.

I have that friend...that friend that I can't let go. Also as a family member,its even harder. But damn, how I can be so stupid sometimes. I know that they (that friend) lie so much, complete and utter bullshit. And yet I forgive and move on in silence because I know that they don't have a normal brain. Does it excuse them? I really wonder sometimes.

Its like when a retarded person kills someone....does their madness excuse their act? Oh, because they are retarded? No. I really don't believe so. But when its someone you know personally,...its so....different. Iactually am not sure how to react most of the time. Obviously, its not a question of murder, but lately they said they had taken drugs.

Sigh. What was I supposed to do really? I have a choice right? they do too. Its their life and if that friend wants to take drugs, drink alcohol, and fuck a thousand souls, its their choice. Right? What about me then. I have a choice too. I can choose to not be friends with someone like that. I, also, have that choice.

Since my mind is so weak lately, I should protect it and stay away from this. But then comes the "please forgive me", and I can't. I feel like I just can't not forgive. Is this wrong? Am I being naive?

So many questions, and yet no answers.

I forgave them again. But I need to set boundaries. I guess its the best I can do for now. If they cross my limit, I have a good reason to not forgive them the next time right? I gave that friend a warning so its not like I'm being selfish....or so I hope.


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Miakoda ✿

Ah well, Dear Diary!

Allright, what about today?

Well, let's see. I have a back injury since two weeks ago. Made me cry yesterday. Its rare that I cry from a physical pain. Its a bit better today but still, its probably because of the anti-inflamatories I took yesterday night. My right shoulder blade seems to think she can do whatever she pleases.

The back injury set aside, I started to sew. I'm still learning and I am clearlya novice, but I enjoy greatly doing so before bed. Very calming indeed.
I am sewing on a piece of cotton fabric the following quote:

"Plant your own garden & decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers"

And at the end, I added four small flowers to make it more cutesy. Pretty isn't it? I will add some pictures once it's finished. It won't be too long, I'm going pretty fast. I would love to do it on t-shirts as well. I think it would give it a nice look.



Now let's talk about the weather here. It stopped snowing. What a bummer. I think they said it would snow again soon. Plus, its still very cold. The Indian Summer isn't here yet so maybe we will have a bit more snow before. I hope so. I love to see snowflakes falling on the ground. When you put your head up and look at the sky while it's snowing, you only see a gray sky with bits of fluff flying around. Its like if giants had a pillow fight and fluff of pillows flew around after being reduced in pieces. That as well, is calming,

You may wonder why I always appreciate and notice calming sceneries. It's quite simple actually. I have a lot of anxiety in my body and mind. Anxiety that comes from nowhere. Anxiety, pain, worry, and panic. Why? I'd love to know exactly why too. What I can do, is sit still, listen, look, and see things of life that are naturally calming. Soothing, slow-paced and relaxing. It helps quite a bit. Anything I can do to calm my mind, I do. Its the best way to stay sane in my opinion.


I am so emotionally sensitive as well. I need to surround myself with people who understands and respect my fragile nature. Otherwise it is dangerous for me. If I stay careful, I will be okay.


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Miakoda ✿

Letter To The Undead

How I wished you could've seen how it was for us. You have only one vision, and its yours. Or at least the one you allow yourself to have. Its a shame really, how you think you're free. Yet all around you, there is suffering, and in most part, you're the reason its all happening.

I thought, when I was younger, that things could come back to how it was. People would forget, forgive, and move forward. But you decided that family and friends were not worth the honor you had left inside of you. Not because of what some thought of you,but because of what you thought of yourself.

You beg to differ, I know.

You lost much, I can tell. Im one of the things you lost forever and won't ever get back. I am not alone as well. It makes it even more sad for you. Am I sorry? No really.

I died a few times too you know. I was miserable, and there is a part of me that still am. Why is that, you may wonder? Well, you never asked for forgiveness. You rather thought it would be a splendid idea to laugh in our face and scream, "Lies!".




Really, Grand-father, what a shame.

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Miakoda ✿

After-noon Tea

It started to get cold. It's been snowing for three days now. I quite enjoy it. The air is fresh but harsh. Also, my puppy is way more cuddly, and she enjoys sleeping close to my neck at night.

We can also make fires in our home, its kind of amazing how doing so puts me in a meditative state.
They say the snow won't stay until winter. Its only November, usually winter's snow comes later. And what about the Indian Summer? It should be here in a few week. I like the snow. I can't wait until it really starts falling down for a few months.

I started to drink tea...more like I'm trying to drink more regularly. Its very good for my health.

Makes me feel better as well mentally. My favorite to drink are black tea, chamomile, oolong, and some more that I forgot the name of. 

I started to get into candles as well. Dry herbs and essence too. Its so calming and healthy. I feel amazing everytime I incorporate these things into my daily routine. I found a shop that sells all of these, but I haven't visited yet. I will next week, and hopefully they will let me take pictures. I would like to put some of my own photographs in my journal. It will make it even more personalized.

As for other news...I'm not too sure. I need to buy baby clothes for my sister-in-law. She's expecting and is due in January 2015. I can't wait to see the face of the little peanut! Very exciting. We'll only know the sex of the baby when she gives birth. Makes things even more natural and exciting. We are having what we call, a "baby shower" this Saturday were we flood the expecting mother with baby things to help her start out as a new mother. Its a joyfull day and I can't wait for it. 

Miakoda ✿